Attribution: AP/AAP

It was the perfect apartment complex. Close to the city in a trendy area with restaurants and coffee shops. A swimming pool surrounded by lush gardens. A small balcony where I could entertain.

This was going to be my Melrose Place. A place of love, hate, drama, drugs, addiction and crime. Oh and sex. Lots and lots of sex.

I would meet my Amanda Woodward and we would have an intensive and tormented love affair. Finally, my addiction to Catching Pokémon would be the breaking point for her.

Seeing my pain Sydney Andrews would comfort me. I would go around…


Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash

When people ask me what I do for a living I tell them that I’m an Influencer.

“An influencer?” they reply. “Is that a real job?”

“Yes, it’s a real job.” I answer back. “Just like a doctor or a teacher. Sure, I can’t cure the sick or teach the young. But I can tell them what is in fashion, give my opinion on just about everything and make their lives feel better because mine is more interesting.”

“But how do you do that?” is usually the next question.

So let me explain what I did today.

I woke up…


Photo by Emin BAYCAN on Unsplash

Have you purchased something later to think why did I do that? It’s called buyers regret or remorse.

Are you suffering this feeling after getting your Covid vaccine?

Sure, all the medical experts say the vaccine is safe. The side effects are minimal and it is highly effective in saving your life if you get this virus. It will also mean that your family, community, country, and the world can get back to some kind of normal.

All the above is just a sales spin to get you to take the vaccine. …


Created by author — Canva

Do you find your day is taken up with mind-numbing pointless meetings? The morning meeting followed by the monthly update meeting then the quarterly sales meeting followed by what do we get Karen from accounting for her 40th birthday, meeting.

We do this so we can exchange ideas, give updates on projects and discuss things like, “How do we make our day more productive?”

Usually, I find after a meeting I know less than I did when I first went in.

Is there anything worse? Well, actually there is. It’s called the “Micro Meeting.”

These meetings are very organic and…

Who doesn’t love a BBQ

Welcome to Dansky Dan Land. Well, Australia. Yes, we do have Kangaroos bouncing down the middle of the street. And yes Drop Bears are real.

Grew up in a mining town in the north of Western Australia. Only child with divorced parents who lived under the same roof but had different lives.

It was a great place to grow up. So much freedom. No shoes, no shirt no hat. Camping fishing and playing with your friends till the street lights came on.

I was always been creative and had a vivid imagination. Maybe it was the only child thing. Had…

We have all encountered a Karen. The middle-aged blonde bob haircut white woman. Often racist and constantly demanding to speak to the manager. You would happily crawl over broken glass naked just to avoid any contact with a Karen.

But is this necessary? Why are we avoiding Karen? Deep down we all need a Karen in our lives. We should be embracing them and use their evil power to get shit done.

Not happy about the 5G mobile phone tower on your street

Grab a Karen and show her a few internet blogs about how the towers are spreading Covid19 and controlling our minds. Also mention that Mexicans are living in…


Photo from Canva

Dear Sir or Madam, (or your current gender profile)

Please see the above photo of your vehicle parked in the shopping centre car park.

Now your average onlooker would call you a moron who clearly got their driver's licence from a Christmas Cracker. As a child did you not ever learn how to colour within the lines? Hence why you can not park between the lines.

Did you think of the car park line maker? His skills handed down from generation to generation in making parallel lines with a perfect distance for any vehicle to park between. …


Photo by Dmitry Vechorko on Unsplash

What happen to me? It all started when taking a vitamin. Mainly fish-oils. Sure, I might smell like a salmon canning factory, but my eyes are bright, and my hair was shiny.

Now days I need drink a full glass of orange juice or wine on a weekends just get all these dam pills down my neck.

With all this Covid, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry explosive interview and the Ever Given getting sideways was causing me some anxiety.

Naturally, I asked my doctor to prescribe something to help me with my newfound anxiety. After a couple of tests and…


Post-it note from my neighbour about her cat

The other day my neighbour showed me the above post-it note left on her door.

In summary, it read “It is very stressful and bordering scary for me to go in and out of the building with a cat guarding the door.”

I guess he means the main entrance to the building. Acting like a furry bouncer at a nightclub. Checking IDs and only letting the hot-looking girl cats go in first.

I have no problem with the cat. Given the post-it note, I want to make sure I keep it that way. Or maybe I should get to know…


Photo from Canva

I’m not ashamed to admit it. When scrolling through my daily read suggestion I will click on a story. Not because of the catchy headline or that quirky photo. No, I will click on that story because the author looks cute.

Is it wrong that I might be using Medium as a dating site?

I find myself doing this more since writing my bio in the publication About Me Stories. Occasionally I will read what other people have written about themselves. But if the author looks cute and she has that cheeky smile I’m clicking on that story. …

Dansky Dan

Writer, Music Producer. Writing mostly humour as that’s how I roll. Plus I seem to get more views writing humour or humor if you are in America.

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